With Tottenham Hotspur manager Harry Redknapp the man of the hour in England following his brush with tax evasion charges and a likely tap on the shoulder from the FA for the England boss job, this Newcastle game on the weekend was billed as an instant classic. The White Hart Lane crowd chanted 'Arry's name in all sorts of creative ways, a nod to his success with the club that now has them in third place.
Newcastle can blame a missing Tiote or any other element at-hand, but this 5-0 loss was murder. Straight knife to a gunfight business… Back liner Assou-Ekotto blasted in a tricky-angled sitter to start the action. New Spur Louis Saha nailed two for his new club (one of which was world class) and felt like a bit of sting that has been missing for Spurs in front of goal. Niko Kranjcar made good on a previous flub. When Emmanuel Adebayor slapped in his goal, the game's fifth, it topped off a night where he assisted every single point up to the one he scored. Haters beware. Spurs' midfield and front line were clicking in non-stop way we haven't seen all season and it almost looked like Barcelona playing a junior high girls' squad out there. Think: one team with, say, three world-class players and another with close to 11. In the end, the shots on goal were 18 to eight for Spurs and Newcastle United's stellar Demba Ba looked utterly neutralized for once.
If any of those Chelsea/Arsenal/Liverpool fans claiming that "Spurs' #3 spot on the table is a fluke" are listening, we suggest they watch this game in slow motion. And then shut up.
Real Madrid and Portugal star Cristiano Ronaldo apparently treated himself to a new car for his 27th birthday on the weekend. A Lamborghini Aventador LP700-4 supercar was delivered to the Madrid restaurant where the footballer was having dinner with his family. It's matte black, murdered-out and looking like something Batman would roll in. There's a long wait list for this limited edition supercar that can hit 62mph in under three seconds and boasts a top (stock!) speed of 217 mph/349 kmph, so speculation suggests the goal-scoring machine that is Ronaldo paid a hefty premium over the $379,700 list price. The man is very good at making money and scoring goals but let's just hope he doesn't crash this one into a tunnel like he did his Ferrari… Either way, he has a backup fleet of Audis and Bentleys in case of trouble.
The England football team's Manager, Fabio Capello, resigned Wednesday after the FA pulled rank on him earlier in the week. Just four months prior to Euro 2012, the FA removed the captain's armband from John Terry who is charged with racial abuse but has yet to face trial.
The Italian Capello has been wrongly quoted in his homeland following the resignation "saying," according to goal.com, that his authority had been undermined and that he was "insulted" by the FA's behavior. Capello's appearance on Italian TV led to the hour-long meeting with FA boss David Bernstein which...led to Capello's walking away from the 6M quid a year job. The FA's official statement said: "The discussions focused on The FA Board’s decision to remove the England team captaincy from John Terry, and Fabio Capello’s response through an Italian broadcast interview. In a meeting for over an hour, Fabio’s resignation was accepted and he will leave the post of England Manager with immediate effect.”
Despite a disappointing World Cup in South Africa and constant criticism from domestic fans who think England's top soccer job should go to an Englishman, Capello has a decent record with England: 28 wins, 8 draws, 6 losses -- or a 67-percent win rate. Before that he was a very winning club coach with successful stints at Real Madrid, Juventus, Roma and Milan. His most likely successor in the UK is Tottenham Hotspur wizard Harry Redknapp whose "man management" skills are well-known and seen as the answer to the Three Lions' fragmented state. What this would all mean for Spurs as they chase a Champions League spot is TBD but the folks at White Hart Lane are bracing for the official approach.
England's best-known player, Man U's Wayne Rooney, tweeted the following earlier on Wednesday: "Gutted capello has quit. Good guy and top coach. Got to be english to replace him. Harry redknapp for me."
Twitter champ/QPR middie Joey Barton also tweeted: "Well, well, well, this debacle claims yet another victim. Where does this stop. £madness… No captain and no manager. 4 months from a major championship. What's going on......."
Super Bowl Sunday got off to a true football start with ESPN showing this showdown between Chelsea and Manchester United live. All eyes were on Chelsea's shockingly under-performing Torres to come up with a big goal in a huge game. No pressure, eh?
An own goal by Evans put Chelsea up 1-0 at the 36th minute, though Sturridge deserves credit for putting the shot into the crease as he did. Juan Mata's goal, Chelsea's second (see video) was incredible and went down when the players were still wiping orange pulp off their faces from the break. Though Torres was up to his usual hesitation and poor timing in front of goal, his massive cross to Mata 30 seconds in was straight out of FIFA 12. Gorgeous, both the bending cross and Mata's blistering volley. (Maybe manager Villas-Boas should embrace el Nino as more of a feeder, as Fergie did 18 months ago during Rooney's dry spell in front of net?) Sideshow Bob, aka David Luiz, headed Chelsea's third goal in, leaving United a 3-0 mountain to climb far from home.
Here's where the conspiracy theories come in: Howard Webb, one of the most recognizable refs in the game, awarded Manchester United two penalty kicks, only one of them a cut 'n' dried "denial of a goal-scoring opportunity." Rooney scored on both. (Duh.) 3-2 now. Chicharito came in at 53 minutes for Young and scored the leveler at 84 minutes, United's only "real" goal out of three. Sometimes wobbly United keeper De Gea nailed two world class stoppage-time saves to repel Mata's free kick and a Cahill bomb. Chelsea fans will claim Webb is United's "12th man" for a long time to come after this super comeback, mark our words… Nobody, though, can deny United's fighting spirit as they remain a whisker away from the top of the table behind City thanks to this tricky point from Stamford Bridge.
Bicycle kicks, those back-to-the-goal, overhead stunners that seem to become station breaks (a la Wayne Rooney vs. City last year) are always crowd pleasers. What we have here, folks, is generally labelled a "scorpion kick" and it's essentially a reverse bicycle kick and straight out of a video game. The physics on it are truly baffling as most players would have a hard time even making clean contact with the ball let alone getting the power and aim right to hit the onion bag. But Nacional Potosi's Erlan Mealla shows opposition "The Strongest" (yes, that's the team's name) that he can sting them from outside the area on what looks to be just an inaccurate cross.
Check another classic scorpion kick here -- this time from a keeper who looks like Sasquatch.
Barcelona captain Carles Puyol struts his stuff after a heavy metal header: DANI POZO/AFP/Getty Images
Clasicos, those matches between Barcelona and Real Madrid, have gotten a little crazy in the last year. What was once a big deal domestically has now morphed into a must-see soccer event for fans of the game worldwide. They've also multiplied in frequency for various reasons, leaving the whole notion of el Clasico feeling a bit diluted or, as RM keeper "Saint" Iker Casillas put it heading into yesterday's Copa del Rey QF, "the Clasico is becoming decaffeinated."
So, first the not really news part: Barcelona won. And deserved to in the grand scheme of things -- even if Real came out strong and attacking and flaunting their considerable talent. Cristiano Ronaldo, aka CR7, scored the game's first and Madrid's only goal and, for once, it wasn't Ronaldo's genius but sometime-keeper Pinto's poor positioning that made it a goal rather than a shot. In the end, this game wasn't about goals, though… (It wasn't about Ronaldo, either, as he seemed to evaporate in the second half.)
Everybody's secret favourite player, Carles Puyol -- he of the Iron Maiden hair and tireless defending and bountiful use of his cranium -- nailed a diving header off a Xavi corner kick and left Casillas helpless. It was incredible. (Plus, Barça usually score off corner kicks only after passing the ball seven times.) Pepe, who should have been marking Puyol, appeared to be sending a text or something and his fault in this goal might have been responsible for a style of play that degenerated from kinda lazy to outright mean. Pepe has always been viewed as a bit of a thug and a go-to bad guy in recent Clasicos, but his dive after Fabregas basically blew him a kiss and his blatant stomp on the hand of a grounded Messi were nothing short of pathetic. In real time it looked like Messi was faking a hand injury or overreacting to going to ground but replays show a very decisive stomp -- in cleats -- to the Ballon d'Or winner's metacarpals. Nasty. We'll see if the Spanish FA pursue any action against Pepe.
Despite being taken down repeatedly and even having his "face washed" by Fabio Coentrao -- yes, he of the highlighted, 1996 Yonge St. secretary coiffe -- Messi kept on being Messi. In a team known for its theatrics, Messi, regarded by almost everyone as the best player in the world in recent memory, kept on dishing out his penetrating runs, crazy angled shots and meticulous, visionary passing. Often the shortest player on the filed, Messi usally seems like the biggest man out there. He chipped the beautiful, micron-perfect pass to Eric Abidal's chest that led to the other, game-winning Barça goal.
So, as always, a match pitting what might very well be the two best soccer clubs on earth devolved into hack-fest worthy of the Hansen Bros., obscuring a lot of great play and talent in the process. But, yeah, we'll watch the second leg next week. Just like everybody else...
Inter Milan is back in the hunt for the Scudettto after narrowly beating uber-rivals AC Milan Sunday 1 - 0. The derby win was the blue side's sixth in a row in Serie A and was a bit of a surprise as AC Milan hogged possession for most of the game and was the clear favourite going in.
AC's burly Mark van Bommel rung one off the crossbar in the first 45 and the always-deadly Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Pato, and Kevin Prince-Boateng all did their part in blowing some sitters. Inter's defense also deserves credit for shutting down tight play in the area repeatedly. The game's lone goal was a gorgeously subtle "pass off the post" from Diego Milito after a rookie defensive flub. Milito was ironically awarded the league's "Golden Trash Can" award just last month for a poor 2011 and he's now on a string of four goals in three matches. And, if you watch much Italian football, you know that's no joke -- Italian D has a very high thread count…
The Serie A table now shows Juventus on top with 38 points, AC Milan in a close second at 37, Udinese w/ 35, Lazio w/ 33 and Inter in fifth w/ 32, still within reach of the title if you squint. Inter's president, Massimi Moratti, has also officially joined a long line of semi-official announcements from other clubs regarding disgruntled, pain-in-the-@$$ Man City striker Carlos Tevez. The asking price for an incredible player with an incredibly crappy attitude? 25 million euros...
A controversial red card on Manchester City's captain, Vincent Kompany, helped a struggling Manchester United side pull off a 3 - 2 win against their fiercest rival in the 3rd round FA Cup match Jan. 8. Kompany's 12th minute challenge on Nani was certainly spirited, two-footed and a potential ankle breaker but many fans are protesting the call that saw City down to 10 men on a tackle that was "all ball" even with the studs up. (It looked pale yellow to us…) Others are claiming that it was Wayne Rooney's famously loud complaints that really got the Belgian ejected. Either way, City manager Roberto Mancini will be protesting the call that could see his stalwart Captain sidelined for four games in what has been City's most exciting and successful season since the industrial revolution.
Elsewhere in the match, United could be seen as lucky given that they were up 3 - 0 in the first half, thanks to a brace from Rooney (incl. a ridiculous header) and a deadly volley from Welbeck. After the orange slices, City came back with two goals from Kolarov and Aguero, almost getting the tie established. United fielded the recently-retired Paul Scholes an hour in to help shore up a midfield that has been less than vintage this season, but the superstar veteran was looking a bit rusty and helped cause the Aguero goal with a poor touch. United advance to the fourth round of the FA Cup and City remain top of the BPL table.
How's that for a literal headline? The lovely Ms. Schaal, of Flight of the Concords fame, shows off some pretty serious keep-uppy skills along with a penchant for Spanish goooooool calls.
I first encountered the Philadelphia 76ers' Hip-Hop mascot at the NBA All-Star Game in 2002 and was horrified by the Donnie Darko-meets-Fresh Prince abomination that was stalking the sidelines and invading my dreams. Of all of the sick, twisted appeals by boardroom executives to appeal to the youth's hip-hop culture, this was not only the most ill-conceived but also the most truly nightmare inducing. His death has only aggravated my fears now that I've become convinced that it has the power to haunt me from beyond the grave.
-- Tim Chisholm
Worst Use of the NBA Lock-Out
Some players used the downtime to heal injuries or expand their basketball repertoire. Peace ignored his rapidly degenerating game to dedicate his time to legally changing his name to a nonsensical mishmash of new-age gobbledygook, then lending his shockingly limited talents to Dancing With The Stars, lasting all of one episode before he was unceremoniously booted from the program. After two preseason games with the Lakers, it's clear that neither of these escapades helped re-ignite The Man Formerly Known As Ron Artest's talent for basketball.
-- Tim Chisholm
Biggest D-Bag Who Finds the Onion Bag
Though UK-based The Fiver claims Man City's Mario Balotelli has jumped the shark, we reckon the goal-scoring Italian clown with the diva attitude is bound to continue his antics in 2012 -- despite public pressure from his coach to knock it off already. In 2011, we've seen Super Mario fight at least two teammates at training, fail epically at getting a training bib on, set his house on fire after lighting off fireworks in his bathroom, and lift up his jersey to show off a "Why Always Me?" t-shirt after scoring against Manchester United. Not since Maradona's press interactions at the 2010 World Cup have we witnessed this kind of infantile need for attention but, like el Diego, Balotelli is deadly on the ball, an undeniable talent with speed, power and creative finishing abilities. Man City remain top of the table, the BPL has a lightning rod it can count on and, if you look up "love to hate" in the dictionary, you might just see a grinning Balotelli.
